==== ON PERMISSION ====
“I don’t know what Freedom is”.
This was the title of an article I read recently. I wanted to read further . . .
It contained a number of examples of what Freedom might be . . . things like:
. . . “being able to go for a walk at 3pm on a work day without asking for permission”
. . . “being able to kiss your loved one at 11am on a work day without asking for permission”
. . . “being able to go to the park to play with your child just because you want to”.
When I talk about Freedom I make the distinction between Freedom FROM . . . and Freedom TO.
In this article I could see a thread connecting each of these examples . . . the idea that Freedom TO have these experiences is the result of Freedom FROM . . . PERMISSION.
It got me thinking . . .
. . . is the OPPOSITE of Freedom . . . PERMISSION?
The article’s author gave these examples to say Freedom isn’t always a “big thing”.
True . . . not controversial . . . yet not particularly insightful either.
You may have heard or seen me talk & write about the 3Fs . . . the core elements we all want in life . . . and the deepest reasons we run our own businesses.
The 3Fs are Financial security, Freedom and Fulfilment.
And they come in THIS sequence . . . because you can’t have deepest Fulfilment without Freedom . . . and you can’t have complete Freedom without Financial security.
When I describe the 2nd F . . . Freedom . . . I talk about COMPLETE Freedom.
Complete Freedom in 5 areas to create the full 2nd F . . . Freedom to choose:
In other words . . . Freedom to choose where, when, how, why and with whom.
These are all Freedom TO . . . .
The article I read . . . without saying it explicitly . . . was emphasising Freedom FROM . . . .
The answer . . . I believe . . . was hidden within those examples.
Freedom from PERMISSION.
And it struck me . . .
. . . how each of these 5 freedoms are constrained by a belief in the need for PERMISSION.
Freedom to choose location . . . may be constrained without “permission” from family, friends, employer . . .
Freedom to choose how to spend time . . . may be constrained without “permission” from those you’ve made commitments with . . .
Freedom to choose how much money to spend . . . may be constrained without “permission” from your bank . . .
Freedom to choose your purpose . . . may be constrained without “permission” from people you want alongside you in that pursuit . . .
Freedom to choose your relationships . . . may be constrained without “permission” from your place of work, from your family, from your friends . . .
AND YET . . .
These permissions SEEM required “from someone else” . . .
. . . which is actually an ILLUSION.
Because we DON’T need EXTERNAL permission . . . first, we need INTERNAL permission.
We have been indoctrinated . . . right from birth . . . through school . . . in employment . . . in social situations . . .
We have learned to FIT IN.
This has made us extraordinarily successful as a human species.
It’s also made us “successful” as individuals . . . IF you define success as “agreeing with accepted expectations”.
Yet “normal expectations” don’t include complete Freedom. Hence, when we WANT complete Freedom we must make a DELIBERATE CHOICE.
To have any and all of the 5 Freedoms . . . we need to give ourselves PERMISSION to make that choice.
Our BIGGEST constraint from having Freedom is the person we see in the mirror.
The biggest barrier to having a life that enjoys all 5 Freedoms is . . . you.
When we release our inherited, expected, unquestioned constraints . . . when we give ourselves PERMISSION . . .
. . . then . . . and ONLY then . . . can we create . . . ANYTHING.
There’s a phrase I heard, probably 20 years ago, that I still actively use is this:
*** It’s Easier To Get Forgiveness Than Permission ***
How about we start giving OURSELVES permission . . . starting this very minute?